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Resonance FM: Hooting Yard On The Air
Category: Talk - Comedy
Baffling, erudite, funny, vertiginously bizarre, digressive, obsessive, eccentric and poignant. Hooting Yard the home of legendary pamphleteer Dobson, Blodgett Marigold Chew, home of the picnic for detectives and location of the palace of Hoon.A splendid
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Hooting Yard: What Is Wrong With Grooving?
Fri, 27 Aug 2010 17:45:19 +0000 (41.9 Mb)
I had my pippy bag and my hiking apparel, and I had a handful of feed for any goats that might cross my path as I wended my way. The sky was blue, and I thought of Ruskin. Well, in truth I thought of both Ruskin and Letta Mbulu. I wondered, as I often have, if Ruskin would have got down with the Hooting Yard groove, had he been born in a different era. We tend not to associate Ruskin with grooviness of any kidney, but that is a mistake, I think. It has not escaped my notice that his very name suggests a Mbuluesque apocopation. What is wrong with Ruskin’?, indeed.
Belshazzar’s Feast.
What Is Wrong With Grooving?
Hooting Yard Chant
Quite Extraordinary
Ghosts
After Belshazzar’s Feast
Solace On The Rack
This episode was recorded on the 29th April 2010. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the four publications We Were Puny, They Were Vapid, Gravitas, Punctilio, Rectitude & Pippy Bags, Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and B...
Thu, 19 Aug 2010 16:54:44 +0000 (38.8 Mb)
Who but an Englishman, the legendary Sir John Franklin, could have managed to die of starvation and scurvy along with all 129 of his men in a region of the Canadian Arctic whose game had supported an Eskimo colony for centuries? When the corpses of some of Franklin’s officers and crew were later discovered, miles from their ships, the men were found to have left behind their guns but to have lugged such essentials as monogrammed silver cutlery, a backgammon board, a cigar case, a clothes brush, a tin of button polish, and a copy of The Vicar Of Wakefield. These men may have been incompetent bunglers, but, by God, they were gentlemen.
From Ex Libris : Confessions Of A Common Reader by Anne Fadiman (1998)
Futurist Stories No. 1 The Muff
Oubliette Of Fops
The Sinus Chambers
Futurist Stories No. 2: To Algiers
A Tin Of Button Polish
This episode was recorded on the 22nd April 2010. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the four publications We Were Puny, They Were Vapid, Gravitas, ...
Tue, 17 Aug 2010 17:21:38 +0000 (43.1 Mb)
Those of you familiar with the important Hooting Yard Book o’ Days will know that precisely six years ago today, the very first episode of Hooting Yard On The Air was broadcast on ResonanceFM. I will be celebrating by drinking a flask of aerated lettucewater and sacrificing a (vegan, marzipan) goat.
Once upon a time, of course, radio shows were fugitive, ephemeral things, but today, with the wonders of podcasting, untold hours of Mr Key’s babbling remain available for you to download from the ResonanceFM archive. Apparently, thousands of people do, certainly more than ever read this blog.
This seems as good a time as any, then, to note that a new podcast maestro has taken over the reins, whose self-appointed task is to increase the frequency of releases. Past programmes have been issued as podcasts generally about once a fortnight, but the plan now is for them to appear twice a week, until the backlog is cleared.
For an insight into the tremendous technical challenges of the process, I refer you to this piece from the 2006 archives. Little has changed, save perhaps for the metal from which the maestro’s hat has been welded.
My thanks are due t...
Sun, 08 Aug 2010 05:36:17 +0000 (42.8 Mb)
Thus the irascible chain-smoking coach took up lodgings at the edge of an ant farm, and spent hours upon hours every day drilling the ants in all sorts of sporty disciplines. So fantastic was his rapport with the tiny insects that they came to worship him as a god, one who wore a Homburg hat and spat out much phlegm. Their weird alien insect brains underwent some kind of Old Haloby modification, and he became their single, simple focus, their one and only, their world.
The Terrible Fate Of Mrs. Sludge, The Medium.
Slobbering Dauphin
Old Halob, Ant God
Celebrity Hoofprint Patterns
This episode was recorded on the 8th April 2010. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the four publications We Were Puny, They Were Vapid, Gravitas, Punctilio, Rectitude & Pippy Bags, Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.
Mon, 26 Jul 2010 23:37:29 +0000 (41.1 Mb)
I strode manfully over to the town gymnasium to throw medicine balls around to no apparent purpose and to spend a while on the simulated bobsleigh machine. At the corner, as luck would have it, I bumped into young Dagobert Stalin, but he was in a frantic hurry, rushing to some newsworthy incident, of which I would no doubt read in tomorrow’s paper.
Zoist Spasms
Daily Bird Challenge
Bird Challenge Rebuke
Chambers And Hiss At The Pumpkin Patch
Fantastic Architecture Of The Burning Cities
Wooden Pig
This episode was recorded on the 4th April 2010. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the four publications We Were Puny, They Were Vapid, Gravitas, Punctilio, Rectitude & Pippy Bags, Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.
Sat, 17 Jul 2010 17:21:50 +0000 (41.8 Mb)
A hammer thumped thrice upon a panel indicated the good burghers had made a decision, and the townsfolk gathered in the square to hear it pronounced. The grubby man was to be coaxed into a tub of hot water, and scrubbed with soapy brushes, scrubbed and rinsed and scrubbed and rinsed until all trace of visible filth was expunged, and he would step from the tub to be enwrapped in a large rectangular towel albino white while the water in the tub was poured down a drain into the sewer.
And so it came to pass.
About Ivan Clank
Puff
Dr Lamp’s Atlas
More From Chalmers
The Grubby Man
Those Cursed Scotch Pebbles
This episode was recorded on the 25th March 2010. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the four publications We Were Puny, They Were Vapid, Gravitas, Punctilio, Rectitude & Pippy Bags, Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.
Fri, 09 Jul 2010 04:49:12 +0000 (42.1 Mb)
I am minded to conduct enquiries into Dr Henry Hall Sherwood of New York, a man with “controversial electromagnetic theories” who “would become known for his ’savage rotary magnetic machine’ which he claimed could cure all manner of diseases from rheumatism to herpes and tuberculosis”. Gosh!
A Duck In A Pond
Two Snippets
Chambers And Hiss At The River Basin
Chambers And Hiss At The Chamber Of Hissing
Eggy Apocalypse
Boosters
Boogie Woogie
This episode was recorded on the 18th March 2010. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the four publications We Were Puny, They Were Vapid, Gravitas, Punctilio, Rectitude & Pippy Bags, Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.
Sat, 03 Jul 2010 19:30:59 +0000 (42.0 Mb)
Back at the house, Dennis sat looking at his mother in her winding-sheet. He was perplexed that she had called him Ivan, for he had not put two and two together. He was soft in the head, and a worrier. If he was Ivan, he wondered, where was Dennis? He decided to set off in search of Dennis.
Hark!
Variation On A Theme Of Scott Walker
Being A True Account Of The Discovery Of The Tomb Of Anaxagrotax
God’s Grandeur
Boorde On Naps
This episode was recorded on the 4th March 2010. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the four publications We Were Puny, They Were Vapid, Gravitas, Punctilio, Rectitude & Pippy Bags, Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.
Mon, 28 Jun 2010 19:37:39 +0000 (41.6 Mb)
Bonkers Maisie in her cart, trundling past the madhouse wall. Has she read The Intellectual Part by author Rayner Heppenstall? Yes she has, a hundred times, it is the only book she owns. She can act it out in mimes while juggling several traffic cones. She trundles ‘long the rutted lane, heading for the distant sea. Sprites cavort within her brain, a brain no bigger than a bee. Dainty is her air and mien, though her cap is set askew. She is in love with Lothar Preen, the maestro. He is bonkers too.
Shade Of Smart
Bonkers Maisie
A Short Essay Upon Cardboard Breakfast Cereal Packets
A Tip From A Shaman
Tiny Enid’s Bathtub Gin
Odd Dots
What I Like About A Farm
Tugboat Tales, Number Two
Three Types Of Incy-Wincy
This episode was recorded on the 25th February 2010. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the four publications We Were Puny, They Were Vapid, Gravitas, Punctilio, Rectitude & Pippy Bags, Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars a...
Wed, 23 Jun 2010 23:11:41 +0000 (41.5 Mb)
It is not, I think, generally known that the notorious killer Babinsky was also a man of letters. So the imminent publication of The Complete And Staggeringly Voluminous Correspondence Of The Notorious Killer Babinsky, in no fewer than forty volumes, is to be welcomed. Babinsky, it seems, when he could tear himself away from the committal of blood-drenched enormities, wrote dozens upon dozens of letters, every day, to a bewildering number of correspondents, some of whom actually replied.
77 Today
The Statement Of William Tell
William Tell: Second Statement Of Particulars
A Man Of Letters
Pancake Day
Uncake Day
Eggs Soaked In Tea
This episode was recorded on the 18th February 2010. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard website. Accompanying Hooting Yard On The Air, the four publications We Were Puny, They Were Vapid, Gravitas, Punctilio, Rectitude & Pippy Bags, Unspeakable Desolation Pouring Down From The Stars and Befuddled By Cormorants are available for purchase.
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